Wednesday, March 26, 2008
[[am I a Facebook fan?]]
judging by what i see in the alerts, i would say No..
i was here @
8:43 PM.
Sunday, March 23, 2008
[[so now i'm a counsellor]]
2 different ppl in slightly under 12 hours.
i don't know what the hell is wrong with people these days...
they cant' and they don't solve the problems the created, but when someone, with greater potential than them, comes along, and wanna do something about the shit, they shut him out.
what the fuck is wrong with them. at least now it seems, i managed to close one case, for the time being.
when talking sense don't work, try knocking..
the other case is a very very long walk to victory, if any to speak of in the first place.. it is my father...
haizz.. i been trying for so many years... but somehow i felt i could change something...
just now, i just felt empowered to effect a change and that it was my destiny, i felt that my ability to be aware of feelings and seeing things from people's perspectives put me in the position to do something.
when i stepped out of the shower just now, the afternoon sun was shining right at me through my window...
i thought to myself...
what does the world look to you now?
Light and bright...
i was here @
10:56 AM.
Saturday, March 22, 2008
[[not-good friday]]
don't feel like sleeping...
it has been very long since i had some 'me-time'
just lie down, do nothing and think about stuff.
i like those times.. it's my way of meditation. It makes me feel self-aware.
today hasn't been a very pleasant day for me.
right after lunch, Pa was yelling about in the house with other relatives around.
Apparantly the recorder was left on and it heated up in the cabinet. He then stormed around the house yelling at elwyn and I to see who was the culprit.
It wasn't me. I don't even know how to operate it. However, today, for once, after my talk with elwyn that day, i believe that neither was he the one. I reaffirm my believes because there were other people in the house, and little audris was fiddling with the remote prior. It may have been turned on accidentally.
i really hate Pa for behaving this way. He behaves like a stupid brat with unhappy childhood memories, who keeps harping on an unhappy past that he is unwilling to share nor accept a forth-coming brighter future.
I foresee that i will spend the better part of my life trying to change my Pa's mindset, regardless of success or failure. I take it upon myself to stand up to things that i deem wrong. Don't anyone question my judgement about what is right or wrong. I trust my judgement. And the very reason that i stand up to these incidents, is simply because no ones does. Everyone is just too bloody busy or lazy to stand up to unjustness. I have an eye for certain things. I believe that it is my gift. I must use this gift of noticing things to help people, to help change things.
i had a quarrel with an old friend today. i was very upset about the disagreement. i was already feeling very upset because of my Pa, and now this.. the other line was probably too preoccupied being shrouded with anger that she failed to realise that i was tearing.
I care for everyone around me. In my heart, there are some people that i feel closer to, even they themselves do not know it. Sometimes when i can, i would do more things for them, go the extra mile. Maybe because they do not know about my feelings, that's why they take me for granted. But i don't blame them. Not everyone is like me, always putting others before self. But there are also some who know their place in my heart, and yet they allow themselves to hurt me.
It's not good that i critise others. I, too, am guilty of being nasty to my ma. Haizz.. i just get very worked up everytime she says something to me. Why am i so impatient? i am very sick of me behaving this way. But i just can't change.. i wished i had someone here to guide me...if you, who reads my blog, care enough for me, help change me.
like i always say. there is always 2 sides to every coin. while there are people who take me for granted, there are also people who appreciate me. Thank you ailin for telling me that i'm one of the nicer guys you know. it's comforting to know that not everyone is blind
====================================
i got into aviation management.
i feel that this is a new beginning and a new destiny awaits me.
i drew inspiration from a scene in 'The Unit s1e1"
"the whole universe has been conspiring to put you right here, right now."
in fact, i drew alot of inspiration from these guys in the show.
i pushed meself to go harder after i fell that time. it was horrible. yet, what they said in the showkept me going.
i reminded myself to ready a Plan B, so that i will not be caught unprepared should my application failed
Though very unexpected, my initial application failed. i was utterly disappointed. Howvere, not all hope is lost. I had actually made 2 diff applicatlons. one of which was a direct application. This was my wet-weather contingency which i was about to pull out very soon. Fortunately, my appeal for application succeeded after an appeal. Nevertheless, i was prepared to react.
anyway......i didn't tell anyone this.. but deep down in my heat, i feel that one of the reason why i picked this course was bcos elwyn was in this course too.. hnowing his chatacter, i want to be there to watch his ass
i was here @
1:12 AM.
[[not-good friday]]
don't feel like sleeping...
it has been very long since i had some 'me-time'
just lie down, do nothing and think about stuff.
i like those times.. it's my way of meditation. It makes me feel self-aware.
today hasn't been a very pleasant day for me.
right after lunch, Pa was yelling about in the house with other relatives around.
Apparantly the recorder was left on and it heated up in the cabinet. He then stormed around the house yelling at elwyn and I to see who was the culprit.
It wasn't me. I don't even know how to operate it. However, today, for once, after my talk with elwyn that day, i believe that neither was he the one. I reaffirm my believes because there were other people in the house, and little audris was fiddling with the remote prior. It may have been turned on accidentally.
i really hate Pa for behaving this way. He behaves like a stupid brat with unhappy childhood memories, who keeps harping on an unhappy past that he is unwilling to share nor accept a forth-coming brighter future.
I foresee that i will spend the better part of my life trying to change my Pa's mindset, regardless of success or failure. I take it upon myself to stand up to things that i deem wrong. Don't anyone question my judgement about what is right or wrong. I trust my judgement. And the very reason that i stand up to these incidents, is simply because no ones does. Everyone is just too bloody busy or lazy to stand up to unjustness. I have an eye for certain things. I believe that it is my gift. I must use this gift of noticing things to help people, to help change things.
i had a quarrel with an old friend today. i was very upset about the disagreement. i was already feeling very upset because of my Pa, and now this.. the other line was probably too preoccupied being shrouded with anger that she failed to realise that i was tearing.
I care for everyone around me. In my heart, there are some people that i feel closer to, even they themselves do not know it. Sometimes when i can, i would do more things for them, go the extra mile. Maybe because they do not know about my feelings, that's why they take me for granted. But i don't blame them. Not everyone is like me, always putting others before self. But there are also some who know their place in my heart, and yet they allow themselves to hurt me.
It's not good that i critise others. I, too, am guilty of being nasty to my ma. Haizz.. i just get very worked up everytime she says something to me. Why am i so impatient? i am very sick of me behaving this way. But i just can't change.. i wished i had someone here to guide me...if you, who reads my blog, care enough for me, help change me.
like i always say. there is always 2 sides to every coin. while there are people who take me for granted, there are also people who appreciate me. Thank you ailin for telling me that i'm one of the nicer guys you know. it's comforting to know that not everyone is blind
====================================
i got into aviation management.
i feel that this is a new beginning and a new destiny awaits me.
i drew inspiration from a scene in 'The Unit s1e1"
"the whole universe has been conspiring to put you right here, right now."
in fact, i drew alot of inspiration from these guys in the show.
i pushed meself to go harder after i fell that time. it was horrible. yet, what they said in the showkept me going.
i reminded myself to ready a Plan B, so that i will not be caught unprepared should my application failed
Though very unexpected, my initial application failed. i was utterly disappointed. Howvere, not all hope is lost. I had actually made 2 diff applicatlons. one of which was a direct application. This was my wet-weather contingency which i was about to pull out very soon. Fortunately, my appeal for application succeeded after an appeal. Nevertheless, i was prepared to react.
anyway......i didn't tell anyone this.. but deep down in my heat, i feel that one of the reason why i picked this course was bcos elwyn was in this course too.. hnowing his chatacter, i want to be there to watch his ass
i was here @
1:12 AM.
Sunday, March 09, 2008
[[day 2 in thailand]]
looking at the pics i have taken.. i think i am a budding photographer beaming with potential haha...
My pics of the kids, ie. human portraits, are all shaky and stuff, probably cos the camera isn't as fast as the restless baby. Ironically, my scenic shots seemed to be more well taken. I guess reading up on photography books helped.
i was at the beach today. the water was so clear and blue, u could see right into it. The resort was sited at a part of the island that protudes out into the sea. I can't remember the term for it, but i learnt in geography that this is the point where the current drops the most deposits. Which is why the sea-level is shallow, at about knee deep, for a long distance out into sea. However, the current is very strong and swift at the apex of the island.
It is somewhat scary. It feels like i will be swept out to sea. The current drags me out even when i swim at a normal pace. At that moment, I felt that i understood why people say that people drown because they do not respect the sea... I felt at peace with the sea, though i choose not to look down at the seabed haha... i guess one who respects others, always deserve to be respected.
ok.. im going back to room now.. the room is awesome... and super lac-jack feel.. will post pics when i get back.. I regret not bringin my camera's docking station... going to some island tmr.. nt sure if im diving...
to sum up Day 2... this island here is very beautiful.. the sunny weather, sandy beach in the day, the tranquility of the night and the dazzling star-filled skies at night... how i wished there was someone here to share every moment with me...
i was here @
6:09 PM.
Saturday, March 08, 2008
[[hello from Thailand...]]
im surprised to find an internet room here on this island.
It's an island resort... the scenry here is amazing..
should have brought my camera docking station, then i will be able to upload the amazing pictures i have taken of the beach.
miss u all, esp after all the catching up last night...
gtg, dinner's coming....
i was here @
3:41 PM.
Thursday, March 06, 2008
[[going thailand sat to sat..]]
hmmm.. hven packed my bag... i will be sharing a room with Nicole and Brendan...
scary la! .. those 2 kids have a vivid history of wetting their beds in their sleep...
I think i had better don a CBR suit as i sleep..
went to visit ah gong today. he was falling asleep in the afternoon when i got there. When i got there, he was holding his hand to his head and said that he knocked his head. He didn't say much. I asked the maid, she said dont have. My xiao shu said that he is getting blur already. Haizz... i went back later in the night, around 8 again, but he was taking a nap after dinner again. I had wanted to tell him that i was going on a holiday with er shu, but i didn't get the chance...
GuGu told me a few days back that ah gong is getting old le. I do not wish to ellaborate, but it's the senile/blur-kind-of-old that hurts me deeply when i knew about it.. he stays too far from me. It's very hard for me to visit him often. I want to treasure whatever time is left.
I thought back about some of the things and people who have left impressions in my life. Some appreciated me, some don't. I appreciated some, some i didn't. For those i didn't appreciate, i'm thankful they are still around. I regretted my actions in the past... :(
i was here @
9:01 PM.
Wednesday, March 05, 2008
[[testing]]
testing
i was here @
6:19 AM.
Tuesday, March 04, 2008
[[anyone wants to buy a Nalgene?]]
Anyone wants to get a Nalgene?It is:
- Extremely durable
- Resistant to staining
- Resistant to retaining odors
- Recommended for "extreme" adventures
- Dishwasher Safe (top rack only)
- Withstands temperatures from -135ºC (-211ºF) to 135ºC (275ºF)
I want to sell my
1L, Sage Green wide-mouth Nalgene. It's brand new, never been used, with the shrink-wrap still on.. come come.. negotiate price with me...
Come on guys,
Bring out the Metro(sexual) in you today!
As for the feminine fairer sex, fret not the macho-ness in this indestructible bottle,
for it will Bring out the sportiness in you!
Guys dig sporty gals! Haha...
ok, you must be wondering why i wanna sell my Nalgene just 2 days after i bought it. There's nothing wrong with it.. just that, I fell in love with another Design...
i am a self/others-proclaimed Aimbo (Army-Himbo)..
even the guard at my house uses a Nalgene, i got to get something different, and more garang! haha..
the
BLACKHAWK! logo is just too cool, and on top of that, tbis design is used by the Angmor army... Hoorah..
actually I rushed out to get it just now, right after i called to check if Sheares had stock for it. But, it was a stupid case of mis-communication when i got there. They had it in their warehouse, not the outlet.. haizz.. a wasted trip...
have u ever had this feeling that you wanted something so much, that you just got to lay your hands on it no matter what?
Ya, this is that moment now... so bloody hell, i got to make my way there again tomorrow. Hopefully the stock will arrive in time, and i can get it on my way to the stupid Brendan's house...
And this was only the first mis-comm case tonight... There was another incident at the Prata shop near Sheares.. I asked if there was egg prata and to which, i was replied a Yes. My prata was then served by an Indian who didn't speak english. I realised my egg prata was in fact kor-song. What followed was a conversation which us Chinese would refer to as, a chicken trying to converse with a duck.
Finally, i decided to clarify with the english-speaking cashier. Now he says that they don't sell egg prata, when he said they did just moments ago!
Now, which prata shop doesn't sell egg prata? It's akin to a chicken rice stall not selling chicken, Burger King not selling burgers, etc...
it wasn't a very pleasant night for me... :(
i was here @
9:16 PM.
[[revival]]
WUUU!!..
my blog's back Haha...
i finally found out the error when i tried to double post...
i was here @
12:47 PM.