[ Tots of the Gundam Prince ]

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

[[polo.... scofield...]]

It was music to my ears... We are getting that well-deserved Polo Finals Rematch... I sms the team right after big fat Jackie called... those who never got my msg probably heard me screaming from my window...

This is the time to reali fucking whoop ass... all those bloody buggers out there who got any fucking issue with Three, take it to the pool... our gameplay will shut ur ass up... I am going to start jogging again to prep my legs... This is the only time so far that I am running.... my legs seem busted for good... Anyway, I am sick of hearing that Three is so and so, Three is fucked up... ok FUCK YOU LA hor... dont bother making any comments if you only dare to talk out of the pool.. fucking piece of shit.... see also sian... fuck...

i feel bad that I have never been to any of the appeals.. Haiya Jackie will probably say i'm lying..

Flunked the Open last nite... the doubles was good.. though we lost but I know I played well... it brought up mmy confidence for the singles.. but for some reason, I cant find my rythmn for it... And I thought my opponent can't play.. haha..

watched Prison Break last night.. the latest Episode.. finally it's out... I remember there was an Episode.. the psychitris told the doctor that Scofield had a very perculiar behavior... He was very sensitive to the sufferings around him... Probably because he had personnally been through it before... maybe i'm just like him.. but unlike him, I lack his wisdom or wit.. I can't really make most things happen.. as hard as i may try.. there are many things that I can do. but I'm glad I tried my best... sometimes it's lonely doing all these things.. but i would feel worse if I just stood by and did nothing and watch something that is wrong continue to rot... Perhaps too many a time, i was left to fend for myself.. which resulted in me not wanting to see people helpless.. most of the time, I have more luck helping others other than myself..

I don't like it.. as I put it.. My serve never gets a deserved return.... My actions never get reciprocated... how long has it been that I did anything for anyone and that someone was there for me too...

Ma said that they know i'm good.. jsut that they never say it out.. it's not that.. if it's that, it's ok.. but the thing is that whatever I hear from Pa is always that I'm not good enough.. in the past, i would feel anger.. but now I would try to improve myself... however most of the times, i do feel that I reali am misunderstood...

I want to be as smart as him but I cant... I cant learn anything from him when he just asks me, "do you know about so and so thing?" and stop talking when I say I didn't know... I always refer to him as a S2 and me, an Intspec.. probably cos I was indeed an Intspec in the army... if he can predict a course that will be vital 6 years before it happened... i dont understand why he cant pass on his wisdom to me... like in the army.. the best Int spec in the army can't work if the S2 does not feed him information and guide him... I can never learn this way... and it doesnt help that they dare not let me try alot of things since young.. for fuck they wan to be so strick.. every thign also scared... even driving out to have suppper... its as though I am going for war.. "Why go so far?? GO nearer place to eat"" such stupid nonsense... if nothing of importance is not worth doing then life is worth living...

I'm really sick and tired of being this stupid lone ranger... but i know i wont quit doing what I do.. its not in my blood.. after all the misery i have been through.. I cant bear to be a bystander.. though at times, i have to take into account piority....

i was here @
10:35 AM.

Saturday, January 27, 2007

[[Tonight...]]

went out with the sengkang gang for supper at Geylang.. farewell for alex who will be sailing for over a month... the parents were grumbling that Geylang too far la, very complicated la.. wat ever the fuck... They still dont understand that I cant grow up in a sheltered environment... anway.. i managed to park parallel in a lot that Kenny gave up with ease.. Yeah!! Result of countless practices in the carpark.. this goes to show that you work to solve probs and not run from them...

took alex's R34 game card too.. gonna work on that haha.. Arcade stage is the only closest thing I got to the world of drifting... so, well...

I dreamt of a Black R34 that night too.. shit...

I don't understand.... why do I keep thinking of the wrong ppl... ppl that I think I shouldnt?

i was here @
3:01 AM.

Thursday, January 25, 2007

[[die la.. why no boost???]]

Damn shit.. I have not gone for any lecture this week at all sia… it’s crazy but I really enjoy sitting alone in hall to read on my own… but the tutorials this sem are really short and they are too easy.. I don’t feel comfortable with it.. in any case.. it had been quite an eventful week… as such, I have not had the chance to do more work than I had wanted to.

Monday: Went to restring racquet. Took longer than expected.. tried out the new strings till the flood lamps in the NIE courts turned off all of a sudden.. went back hall, couldn’t settle down.. so I decided to lay down for a while. It was 12am…

Tuesday: Next thing I knew, it was 10am in the morning.. missed 2 lects, and so that kickstarted my self-learning week… that afternoon, went to play tennis again, but was totally out of form… following which, was the Cheerleading competition which took up the rest of the night…

Wed: ok, long day.. to my horror, my Computing tutor is the same guy, but he seemed to teach better than last sem.. well, it’s only the first lesson… then BioBiz.. this time the lect was a full 3hrs.. next I went back to hall and ended up napping for an hour.. ok…. Blah blah blah, tried to do some work.. then met Flora for supper.. she said she would be paisay if I were cooking for her. So in the end, she made me cook with her instead and gave me some of her noodles which had more mushroom than mee…. We ate in her room and chatted till 3… had to close the door at some point cos she was laughing too loud..

Hall 3's cheerbear!!

Thurs: woke up at 9. cant go lect today again cos of swimming training. Flora asked me the night before to wake her up.. but I ended up waking her every hour from 9 to 1 to no avail. I fell asleep over my notes at some point and ended up tearing them.. fuck.. ok, come 1am.. every other girl in my team has medical probs and the only ‘healthy’ one didn’t want to get out off bed… what sia.. I didn’t miss 3 lects to be greeted by a zero attendance… in the end we only had Flora, Cpt, Bertram, stupid Jackie, black sumiko and me. Then we had lunch outside and by the time we are back, it’s already 4… ok so chop chop, pack bag, go go… then it started to drizzle. Bloody hell one leh.. everytime I wanted to go home or play tennis, it would rain…

Anyway, I made it to JP, had a few rounds of initial D and I’m blogging now on the train which is traveling slower than I can drift a car sideways.. it’s going to be a short weekend again cos of swimming… ahhh.. 4 day week will only come into effect next week.. KIN LA!

i was here @
8:18 PM.

[[Polo Bo Bo]]

There was a goddamn big Hoohah over the water polo finals… initially I thought I knew what was happening.. then I got what I thought was a third party view, but now I feel that may too have been a corrupted opinion… I am not going to pass any judgment as of yet.. not before Cpt tells us what happened… I had wanted to talk to him but I never got the chance.

I may only be a stand-in Manager..it may only be a simple game, but somehow I feel responsible for this team… I don’t want them to be kept in the dark of anything.. I don’t want the name of this team to go down in shit… Since I had invited the guys to play a part in the team, I cannot let our name go to shame.. I don’t want everyone to be unable hold their heads high when polo is mentioned.. I do not wish that the guys to be ashamed to mention that they were from the polo team.. I don’t want our hall to be sneered at..

Not that I feel extreme love or hate, but since I’m here in this hall, I’m not allowing myself to have rotten memories.. whatever it is, we must fight for it.. not all in the team will feel this way, but at least I do..

I don’t care what others say… All I know is that, whatever I see everytime at the pool, at the trainings, that’s the real deal… evreryone is there.. we may be late for training, but we are nevertheless there in the shit together… more than half the team has never touched a polo ball in our lives before, not to mention, we weren’t even strong swimmers to begin with… to be there from the first time till the last day, there is no bullshit in that.. the scores speak for themselves.. we may have particularly good players, but the rest of the team aren’t fucking benchwarmers. I may tease Brendan for the goal he scored, but without prior training, the coordination and teamwork displayed during that goal would never have been possible. That, I honestly think, is not something any fucking bugger can argue about.

What ever we do, do it with pride… there’s no joy in just passing through the motion.. I take pride in being in this Polo team.. not because we are good, but because everyone is there together no matter how tough it is.. there is this sense of belonging… it doesn’t matter if the other members don’t feel this way because I know I do.

That is enough for me.

i was here @
8:14 PM.

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

[[ARGH!!!! boost me on!!!]]

die la.. yday whole day wasted... whole morning nv do much.. then the CheerLeading comp took longer than expected..but it was quite an experience.. never seen anything like it before... yeah..

and we won! should have joined rite? ..but 5hrs of hardwrk everyday is no joke..

she's Flora, and i'm Fauna.. haha... she's so happy when the results are released... hugging everyone else but me.. Die already.. you going to suffer during swimming!

we are montfortians.... not the blue one...

~~~~~

you know... sometimes when you get bored...

Instant pasta with Ikea meatballs.. mama mia

HAIYO! I DON'T FEEL LIKE GOING LECT!!! It's crazy, but I actually find joy in studying myself in hall. Well, since I have decided I'm too lazy this mornign.... I had better bloody boost-on with Eurobeat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i was here @
9:25 AM.

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

[[Sleeping beast..]]

i dozed off at 12 last night... only woke up at 10 this morning.. missed 2 lectures.. wat the fuck happened to me sia..

ARGH....

went to restring racquet last nite.. muz try it out!!! But it took longer than expected.. or rather the journey took super long.. so couldnt join benja and amanda for badminton... damn sian to travel in Singapore.... takes so fucking long for such a small country..

i was here @
10:18 AM.

Saturday, January 20, 2007

[[My bad..]]

Recently, there were instances when I failed to make good what I had always said I aimed to be...

But, where do you draw the line? this line to divide word ofhonour and family... I am very sorry, but at the same time,thankful to JM... I failed myself.. I said I would always be there to help if I could but till this date, I have yet to do so...

-------

For too many a times, I have seen what I irked... Many a times, I felt betrayed... People did things when they said so otherwise... It just disgusts me to see people ignoring things that dont seem to concern them directly when their 'lives' are currently alright... just because they are okay now, they ignore things around them... maybe they are just too good for other petty troubles... fuck.. when it concerns them, they will be there, otherwise they cant be bothered.. wonderful...

perhaps its my retribution that I am at the receiving end this time.. but i had always tried my best.... just this one time, and I'm to be condemned? it ain't right..

and fuck u Pig... warping tales behind my back.. but im thankful that there are people who knows how rotten are you and people who believe in me.. so u may continue churning pigshit out of your mouth, scolding frens/gfs of your 'frens' right in their faces, etc... perhaps his parents didnt bring him up properly enough... for that, i convey my heartfelt condolences.

Are there any good men left?

Only war will decide...

the only litmus test can be a calamity...

i was here @
3:50 AM.

Saturday, January 13, 2007

[[IHG Rugby..]]

Ready for War!!!!!! How the hell did I roared till I looked like that?

This is the shit man... The mud on our faces is soil.... Soil from the field la...

I'm somewhere there....

There... the joker with ankle socks..

ah push.. push some more...

here we go again..... there! number 12!!

Up, up and away....

i was here @
1:48 AM.

Friday, January 12, 2007

[[The Art of Bullshit]]

I had failed to get any electives initially. Partly due to following the advice of a Prof Sim to concentrate on the other subjects. However, 802 seemed easy on second thoughts. I was worried about clearing AUs.. i spent a good deal of time transiting between schools in a futile bid to appeal for an easy elective.

However, it may seem that NTU does not encourage students from studying, not that they discourage it blankly though.. No one picks up the phone, nor replies the emails.. A visit to NBS and a brief session with a A/P Loh seem to prove my point. The moment it was revealed that I was not a business student, the tone changed noticeably. When asked if improvisions could be made to allow another student, "What? Just for you?" was shot back at my face... I thought we should be encouraged to study?

Or so I thought.

In any case, i also noticed the tones of the Profs are quite different before and after I enrolled into NTU... oh well.. character building does not seem to be an elective, so it's no wonder...

Anyway, I tried another email to SBS, my last try it would be.. To my surprise, they replied less than 2 hours later... Really appreciate it Ms Irene!

I couldn't have pulled this off without dunking a tonner load of bullshit...

Hoohah..

To whom-it-may-concern,

I am a first year engineering student. I have been rather unsuccessful in the application for an elective during this add/drop period. I had bidded for BS802 BioBiz, intending to take it as a PE under the STS category. However, I was not shortlisted.

In view of the Government's efforts to turn our nation into a Biopolis, I feel that this subject can provide me with a fruitful insight into the world of Biology and its applications in the Corporate world. On top of that, this subject can allow me to learn something new and very different from my chosen course of study.

I sincerely hope that you will reconsider my appeal and give me the opportunity to take up this subject. I am looking forward to you reply.

Regards

i was here @
6:52 PM.

Friday, January 05, 2007

[[.....]]

i wanna go Muji to get a bigger organiser.. I had one already.. but i liked the pages that can fit into the bigger one.... damn... and i even bought the hole puncher for the smaller organiser... haizz what to do...

now left leg is hurting at the pelvis, because I did a somersault into the swimming pool... and my right shoulder is sore... presumeably from swimming and polo...

i was here @
4:26 PM.

[[a letter from the past....]]

i found this email accidentally when i was mailing the previous post to Ma... Leong forwarded me this conversation between her and Ma some years ago...

> > From: Nancy_ANG@........> Date: Fri 02/07/2004 9:38 AM GMT+08:00>
To: meow_leong@......>
Subject: Re: letter
> > > >
Dear Joanna,
> We are also affected by the blackout. The whole Sengkang was in darkness
> except for those areas with stanby power. Initially, I thought Elwyn was
> the culprit till i hear shoutings from outside. Our condominium lights was
> restored quite fast although it was still dark outside. We didn't panic as
> Uncle is always well prepared for such tjings. He has torchlights put at
> strategic positions. Sometimes, we think he is too overly cautious but when
> things does happen, we would realise it's good to be well prepared.>
> I know Ben wants to do more but he is restricted by his tight schedule and
> not so good planning. We are all hard pressed with time but we just have to
> adjust and plan properly. I am also very busy both at home and at work.
> Recently, even more at work because I have been away from the office.
> First, it was my medical leave . I have never taken so many ML in my whole
> career before. I've taken so many days plus the time off for my medical
> check-up that last week I took my own vacation leave tor rest instead of
> ML. I was also down with a very bad cough. I cough so much esp at nights
> that I do not have a proper sleep for countless nights. Now I am almost 90%
> recovered but after consulting the doctor 4 times. So I tried to sleep
> earlier to make up for the lost sleep.>
> I am also involved in the ISO certifcation and was sent for course. I am
> also involved in another project which requires me to be away form the
> office for many days. All these are taking away alot of my time in the
> office to clear my works. But I try to draw a line between my work and
> home. The other day, I sound so "sian" was because I was not having enough
> sleep.>
> Actually, quality time is much more impt than quantity time. I do not mind
> Ben not spending much time with me so long as there is quality time. He
> also wants to spend time with you and that I understand. He is unhappy that
> he cannot comes home daily but again not everyone can do that as well. He
> just got to accept the situation. Life is like that. How to have everything
> to our desires? We have to learn to acept with more positive attitude and
> we would be happier. Instead of being so negative and life would be
> miserable. He always say that I do not understand him whenever i told hiim
> that. In Rome u just have to do what Romans do. He thinks too much and
> because of this, he can be undecisive. I really hope that he would be more
> positive. Whenever, he is feeling down, I get worried.>
> I do not mind doing extras if I can have peace of mind. The part bad about
> being parents is our worry about our kids. It is easier to sacrifice than
> having to worry about them. I know Ben is feeling that he has so little
> time. I can't do anything about the army rules. What I can do for him is to
> hep him in such a way he can have more time to do what he wants. For
> example, I try to get what he needs to save him time. Like he needs the
> watch. So I make enquiries and finally, bought for him 3 days ago.
> Actually, to buy that watch for him , I have to walk almost 25 mins from
> where my course was conducted to the shop. Furthermore, I have to convince
> the shop owner to reserve the watch for me. The other week, he needs some
> supplies from the army market. Actually he is luckier that he still has his
> family to count on. Some guys have to get the supplies themselves whether
> they are free or not. That Friday evening after work, I went with Elwyn and
> uncle to get the supplies for him. Elwyn in fact volunteer to get them for
> him. Anyway, this are the little things we can do. I really do not mind
> doing such things. But i hope he can learn to accept things more
> positively and accept that life is not always a bed of roses.>
> I do not mind him going out but it must not be such that he is only taking
> his home as a hotel. And I get worried if he comes back too late. Not being
> able to spend too much time with us is alright esp since he has so
> restricted time. It's quality time that matters not how much he can spend
> with us. I have always encourage him to have better rapport with uncle and
> Elwyn. No point being at home with the family if there is no rapport at
> all. My wish for him is that he would be more flexible and adjust to
> environment.>
> It's good that he is able to confide in you.>
> How is your cough now? If it is still not ok, do go consult a doctor. Cough
> can be very stubborn and if not treated earlier will take a very long time
> to recover.
> This is a pretty long letter. It's not easy to compressed all your
> thoughts.>
> Take care,
> Aunty> > > > > > > > > > > > > > ________________________________________________________________________> > "WARNING : "Privileged/Confidential information may be contained in this> message. If you are not the intended addressee, you must not copy,> distribute or take any action in reliance thereon. Communication of any> information in this email to any unauthorised person in an offence under> the Official Secrets Act (Cap 213). Please notify the sender immediately if> you receive this in error."> > > > joanna leong > fic.net.sg> cc: > Subject: letter > 02/07/2004 00:56 >
>
>
>
>

Dear Aunty,
> heard that sengkang also have black out that day. u also affected right?
> My blk and blks in front of mine also affected but those blks behind
> mine not affected. At first i thought is my house only. Real panic that
> day cos total darkness in the hse and everywhere.
> I'm sick since last week. Actually i had sore throat ,after that got
> fever. I recovered quite fast last week after taking the medicine. but
> dont know y my sore throat came back again with cough. And is worse.
> Since yester i've been taking cooling stuff but my sore throat still
> same. This is the worse throat i ever have. no matter hw much water &
> taking cooling stuff i still cant recover.>
> Benedict said he dreamt of u. He dreamt that u wanted to go out with him
> but he didnt. i think cos he's in gulit this few days and kept thinking
> he neglect u till he had this dream. He said he didnt pay attention to
> u while u are always doing so many things for him. Like that day u made
> 1 tray of chicken wings for him but he didnt eat much. He feel gulity
> for that too cos he wanted to eat more but he's just too full that day.
> He knows u care so much for him. u know that he didnt have gd food in
> the army that's y u specially prepare nice food for him but he didnt
> appreciate by eating more. Also cos he is left with not much time over
> the wkend he didnt get to have a nice talk with u that he always wanted
> to .when he wanted to talk at hm either u're not at hm or he's going
> out. he tried to call u when he's in camp hoping to have a nice talk
> but that day the black out he didnt get a chance to talk . he wants to> care for u more
but he doesn't knows hw to do it, the only way he can
> think of is only talking to u or helping at hm. But he didnt seems to> have the time or smtimes the chance. He feel sad and gulity. he always
> tell me that ppl always regret after losing their loved ones . he doesnt
> want that to happen when the day comes but he dunno hw to cherish well.
> Do u feel that he neglect u or not concern abt u?>

> take care.> > > > > >

my vision blurred

i was here @
5:15 AM.

[[shattered]]

I'm still awake... I can't sleep... watched a little of GTO just now.. the live-action series.. I lost count of the times i watched it.... it was one of my all time favourite shows... it portrayed every thing I aspired to be... maybe cos i was not feeling too well, but i just had to watch it...

i feel really low recently... cos of my results and the Sub Reg... and also the loss of faith and direction... actually, the latter attributed to the former... over this past week, in my journey to sort the mess out... i also straightened out my thinking... or so I thought.. I thought I saw what I had wanted.... but this morning, I was once again shattered... all this time... i knew how i feel about home... I want to be home more... i want to do more.. to care for home... i told Ma... i told her... after all those deaths, I want to be home more... But she said, days I'm at home, I also go out..

Yes, I do go out.. but I always want to eat dinner at home when everyone is around.. I go out only after dinner or I come home before dinner.... I want to see them more... I wan to be home... but I dont understand how come Ma misunderstands me... to say things about me like that...

I was very shattered..

for too long... all those that I cared for... they never seemed to know... they never knew that I cared.... never it seems.... how do i sustain myself for so long... it is something I can never understand... why is it, I would always step forward whenever I see them in need... i always thought for them... though I didn't always knew what to do.. i never stop trying...

however... it seems, i was always alone... standing there.. battling what ever may come.... be it triumpt or defeat... i stood alone... no one ever seems to think that i'm hurt...

people misunderstand me all the time as if I'm born to be misunderstood... it's been so long since i was ever told i was doing the right thing... and speaking about GTO... in one of the Episode.. it talked about friends... i wonder if i have more peers than friends... it seemed the case... when i'm down... i don't see anyone... peers do call on me... when there's things to do... but when i talk to them... they disappear... are this true frens? are friends only friends when they are free to do so and not busy with something else?

I know who arent... Alex and JinJin.. we always stood by each other... no matter what fucking thing happens... we dont only appear when theres good things to enjoy and disappear when we can't be bothered... that's how the fuck we are... i'm grateful also to Vincent and Eric of my tut Spec Corps.. they never fail to extend their help to me where studies are concerned... superwoman for listening to my blabber... Samantha too.. PS: although you never do anythg, but u offering to help... it's enough... it shows that you have the heart! have faith in yourself...

thats why i bear some disregard for studies... it dont seem to build character in anyway...

can't believe it's been so long since that Bday party of mine.... i felt that I have done everything for everyone... Elwyn seems less fucked up now... or maybe cos I also never talk to him... I wonder how much he listened... Pa... I have said what I wanted to say for him at the party... I hoped I had sorted out his thoughts as well...he seems ok now.. yesterday, before I left for school in the morning.. he was home, he told me there's prata... but i didn't eat it for breakfast because I was too full. Then when I was in the MRT station, he called me.. he said, "you never eat the prata ah?" I dont know.. but i felt that he had bought it for me.. and was disappointed I didnt eat it... i went back home straight, not because I wanted to take the car, but because I wanted to eat the prata.. i knew I had to eat it.... as for Ma... her Bday is coming soon... that thing I wanted to do... seems childish now... i dunno what I can do for her... i try to be home whenever i can... she always cooks alot of nice things for me to eat during the weekends... she always makes the herbal drinks for me.. even if i'm too full, i will try to drink, cos she made the effort to boil it for me.. everytime i see her after cooking.. i can see how much effort she put it... i always made sure i came home to eat... cos she made an effort to cook, i want to be there to eat what she cooked... yesterday.. i thought of going to fetch her from work, since i can drive now...i thought it's quite nice... but i didnt have the chance to do so... i had wanted to call her again.. tell Ma that I am home from school... like what I always did when I was young, but stop when I had depression back then... but after what she said to me today... I dont know.....

Anyway, it seemed that I had done everything I could have done for everyone I wanted to... it would seem that even if I had died now... i would have no regrets...

i was here @
4:12 AM.

[[some things that happened...]]

Went Boat Quay with mei and her 'gf', Bixia that day... very nice of them to jio me out... they said it's to make up for all the times they are not free for supper... anyway, I cant find the bloody pub... cos i'm not a party animal... I was looking for Candy Bar instead of Kandi Bar... It was quite a nice place... crocodile soft toys all over the place.. i saw that pub featured in the papers too.. the one with the Surgical Room theme...

anyway....

i love the floor

aren't we cool?

This picture perfect moment has got to be captured by me of course

spent quite a fortune eating these 2 weeks...

had our teppanyaki party... and also our.. i don't know what to name the 2nd one...party...

teppanyaki party plus Umizaru screening...alex's first session

the 2nd goumet party,

let me start the ball rolling...

the western chef

alex trying to look busy

preparing for the almighty Ramly Burger!!

Haiyo!!

2LT Eric trying to look busy too...

Voila!!

he who doesnt cook, washes...

i was here @
3:41 AM.

Thursday, January 04, 2007

[[Alone...]]

Here now.. i stand alone again... why is it that the ones i cared most for don't understand me...

Lost Lamb....

i was here @
7:28 PM.

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

[[Rugby... painful]]

had Rugby on Sat.. i played 2 games..

we won the first one.. 7 to 5... initially, I didnt give two hoots about Rugby.. but after 4 tackles in the first game... i fell in love with it....

TACKLING IS DAMN FUCKING SHIOK LA!!!!

my first tackle was the first of my team.. it was a successful one... it got my adrenaline pumping.. since then.. i keep my eyes trained on whomever was carrying the ball.. cos i would be lying in wait behind my teammates.. waiting for the right amount of distraction.. and when he finally makes a mistake.. i will pounce on him!!

the next 2 tackles were unsuccessful though.. in my anxiety, i forgot to grab with both my arms....

thus, i waited patiently for my final kill of the game....

then there came my chance.. right before the final whistle... the enemy broke through all my Forwards... but i was there.... studying him steathily behind my teammates... when he broke through.. i flanked him from his half right... i ended his futile attempt at the my Try Line with a diving tackle at his waist which sent him straight to the ground...

the feeling was damn shiok... the feeling of bringing someone down to the ground with a hard tackle... awesome...

however, we lost the 2nd game.. it wasnt too surprising since the oppenent were the guys whos trained us...

there was a third.. i left before it... one reason was that my knee was whacked during the first game.. due to the injury i hate in the army.. my knees are easily damaged... however the main reason is that i wanted to go home earlier to have dinner with my family... but how was I supposed to tell the team this... most would probably brush it off as bullshit...

after all those deaths i have seen.. i really wan to be home more...

i really want to...

i was here @
3:21 AM.