Tuesday, November 28, 2006
[[si bei bo liao]]
http://www.sgtbenedict.youaremighty.com/haha... Superwoman made this for me.... morale booster she says....
made ramly burger again last night... finally learnt how to use the induction stove to spread the egg.. haha... in any case, a very thinly spread egg is needed bcos my overkilled ramly houses a beef pattie, cheese and ham inside.. Hohoho
last night, relac jack from after Phy paper till 530am.. how the hell time passes so quickly... chem's coming up next... but i dunno how to prep for it... no Qns to do.... never taken it in JC... die sia.... Phy was a blummer... but i did prepare for it.. sure there was room for more.. but i did try.... timese like these, i have no qualms about it... things that i know i can answer to myself... it would suffice...
but the past few days when i was practising Physics... it was high man... blasting away Eurobeat... reali steam.... dont know why... it just boosts me... but only when i do subjects i like....
Yeah!! finally going Vivocity next week.. then shopping? too many things never see le... i need to bring a map when i go out....
i was here @
12:28 PM.
Monday, November 27, 2006
[[I'm on STOMP. haha]]
submitted my pics for the fun of it... Sporting Moments.... haha....
http://singaporeseen.stomp.com.sg/viewPost704.aspx
i was here @
1:02 PM.
Sunday, November 26, 2006
[[the demise of the P-plate]]
i regret to inform the demise of my P-plate.....
aiya... its no big deal also la... so wat? P-plate only ma....
if only this could be the next thing on my windscreen...
and just in case you are wondering why drifting is so expensive....
i was here @
12:50 PM.
Saturday, November 25, 2006
[[slow leh.. slow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]]
walao eh.... jialat sia.. really one in , one out... whole bloody day only do 2 chap of physics... 2 more days.... but the worst thing is i learn one new thing, but i forget something else... gone fucked.....
surprisingly.. although i am progressing slower and a snail is trying to crawl backwards.... i cant ultimately understand the solution to the Qn.. but the thing is.... science dictates that time only moves in one direction... away from you... and never comes back.... and it always accelerates during exams.... i have to go back camp to draw out the SAF magic pen....
Eurobeat really does wonders... especially nowadays its raining when i'm in hall... so i really jack up the volume.... the eurobeat just boosts me... but the moment i hit a QN i can't answer, i start daydreaming about drifting... its a double edge sword....
damn ... i'm getting quite smittened by drifting.... it's too cool..
Haizz... tmr is coming again... can i wake up? can i be more productive... think it would be better to have someone here to boost me... Xmas is coming.... eeee... lonely xmas.... lousy....
i was here @
4:56 AM.
Friday, November 24, 2006
[[Busted]]
when should i go home?? it seemed that if i were to go home... i would waste time here n there, though it's not as though i spend time fruitfully in hall... i want to go home.. as usual, eat dinner with the family.. then go see ah gong... one week never see him only, he dont recognise me alredy... last week when i went.. i can see that im not a familiar face to him... he can't even remember my name... it's my fault that i didnt go see him the week before.... i thought it was ok to rush maths... in the end, it was stupid.. turns out.. i fucked up the paper... i forgot the formulae... i knew how to do the integration... but without the formulae.. i cldn't start... idiot... i missed a visit for nothing..
i wanna go out sia..... i wanna look for that NUM top which may have 'Tennis' imprinted on it... i hven gone to collect my outstanding iShop, though i dont really know where that came from.. initially arranged with Wei to go get it.. but she isn't free.. dont think i'll be gg either.. hven done alot of thgs either.... hven email the below to my Ma as i had intended..
After 21 years of marriage, I discovered a new way of keeping alive the spark of love. A little while ago I had started to go out with another woman. It was really my wife's idea."I know that you love her," she said one day, taking me bysurprise. "But I love YOU," I protested."I know, but you also love her."The other woman that my wife wanted me to visit was my mother, who has been a widow for 19 years, but the demands of my work and my three children had made it possible to visit her only occasionally. That night I called to invite herto go out for dinner and a movie. "What's wrong, are you well?" she asked. My mother is the type of woman who suspects that a late night call or a surprise invitation is a sign of bad news."I thought that it would be pleasant to pass some time with you," I responded."Just the two of us."She thought about it for a moment then said "I would like that very much."That Friday after work, as I drove over to pick her up I was a bit nervous.When I arrived at her house, I noticed that she, too, seemed to be nervous about our date. She waited in the door with her coat on.She had curled her hair and was wearing the dress that she had worn to celebrate her last wedding anniversary. She smiled from a face that was as radiant as an angel's."I told my friends that I was going to go out with my son, and they were impressed," she said, as she got into the car. "They can't wait to hear about our meeting". We went to a restaurant that, although not elegant, was very nice and cozy. my mother took my arm as if she were the First Lady.After we sat down, I had to read the menu to her. Her eyes could only read large print. Half way through the entree, I lifted my eyes and saw Mom sitting there staring at me.A nostalgic smile was on her lips. "It was I who used to have to read the menu when you were small," she said."Then it's time for you to relax and let me return the favor," I responded.During the dinner we had an agreeable conversation, nothingextraordinary - but catching up on recent events of each others lives. We talked so much that we missed the movie.As we arrived at her house later, she said "I'll go out with you again, but only if you let me invite you". I agreed."How was your dinner date?" asked my wife when I got home. "Very nice. Much more so than I could have imagined," I answered.A few days later my mother died of a massive heart attack. It happened so suddenly that I didn't have a chance to do anything for her.Some time later I received an envelope with a copy of a restaurant receipt from the same place mother and I had dined.An attached note said: "I paid this bill in advance. I was almost sure that I couldn't be there but, nevertheless, I paid for two plates - one for you and the other for your wife. You will never know what that night meant to me. I love you."At that moment I understood the importance of saying, in time: "I LOVE YOU" and giving our loved ones the time that they deserve.Nothing in life is more important than God and your family and friends.Give them the time they deserve, because these things cannot be put off til "some other time".Someone once said "I've learned that, regardless of yourrelationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life.I think this is true with your in-laws, grandchildren, sisters,brothers and your friends. Anyone that means something to you-you should spend time with them and let them know how much they mean to you as often as you can.To love and to be loved iseverything..........................................this semester has very much passed me by... i cant get the drive to study... esp for subjects like Econs and Computing... guess i just didn;t like them.... bcos although physics and chem are tough.. i will still do them though.. at a microscopic snail's pace though... what the fuck is wrong with me man....
guess it's bcos i'm an interest-driven person.. when i know what im doing, what i'm heading for.. i wont ever stop, ever.... unless i dunno wats the next step to take.... but then again.. this is also my bane... when i do something i dont like, or see no point in doing.. i wont do it... thats the case for econs and computing.... i never liked them in the first place.. so its damn hard to push myself...
maybe i tot too far.. i ask, so far after all these? after all these studying.. its same damn thing i have been doing for the past 2 decades... studying is one thing... wats stupid is the education system... even at this level, its still the same... i dont see how our system can cultivate any thinking minds... we are just bloody zombies.... it doesnt encourage to explore.... downright stupid....
AHHH.. i dunno la.... FUBAR
i was here @
2:33 PM.
Monday, November 13, 2006
[[another Spider 3 trailer....with venom]]
i thk this is a raw video rite off the drawing board... that's why some of the footage has CG which is still unrendered.. but watch the whole thing... cos at the last part... you see the birth of Venom... rendered
http://www.ifilm.com/video/2796574PS: damn shit... cant put the player up in blogger... but is fine in Multiply...
i was here @
12:01 PM.
Sunday, November 12, 2006
[[extingusihed]]
cant get my fire burning... i think i need new eurobeat... i dunno whats putting out my fire but it's definitely not abt a broken heart... what the hell... tiresome to repeat time after time...
i'm ignoring econs and computing... cant make it.. Chem is the last paper.. so it'll have to be ignored anyway for the time being... i can't push myself.. i think i got a volatile ass... can't sit still for too long... it;s not helping that 3 out of 5 subjects are something i have not taken before in JC.... Ya ya.. people will say accept the system... blah blah blah.. but nothing we are learning really gears us for our work life.... fuck..
then the Hall Allocation System is out... fuck la... Hall Biasition System la.. they should register all cars coming into NTU.. all students who drive to school everyday are immediately denied a place in hall... FOR BLOODY FUCK do you need a fucking hall when you drive a fucking car every fucking day... Just to be closer to all the new age materialistic bimbos and xian them right... what sia... faster xian so that all that's left are the decent gers... and then fuck off from Hall la.. give the place to people who stay far and really need the place... Fuck ass... All the ah xia kia in my Hall.. see already aso dulan... i think they had plastic surgery... got that 24/7 fuck face plus smirk... enhaced with Botex or soemthing...
just that day.. this bugger with the old Honda from my hall took a sharp turn at a junction without signalling... if he had honked me... i tell you... one fine day, i will go and zhng some vinyl on his fucking car with my penknife..
ok la... enough thrashing.. cant be bothered...
I think i'm getting a Nintendo Wii.. it's controller is awesome....
i got a mass email form Peili some days back.. i saw it before... there was one story about a Guy going on a dinner with his mother when he's grown up...back when i first saw that email.. i had wanted to do the same for Ma.. i can't remember when.. perhaps it was Mother's Day.. in the end, i didn't.. i didn't know how to... moreover, i had that big quarrel at that time with Pa who was disillusioned.. it seems every year or few years, i have to wake him up.. i had wanted to go out with Mama.. but dunno go where. i remember when i was young.. very young. she used to take me out... then she would bring me to her office and i would play with my toys while she does her work... i remember that there was once too...she came home in the afternoon then she got me a ninja turtle toy.. Raphael. I said i needed a bad guy to play with it..so some days later I got this frog guy.. which some years later, i realised it was a actually a good guy... anyway... i dunno man..alot of times, i want to do alot of things.. especially where home is concerned, but i dunno how to... i remember when i was just in sec 1... we had this orientation night.. then we went to school in the evening in home clothes... Ma went with me.. i remember we were at my old house at the lift lobby... she looked at me and smiled.. saying: Wow, (me) look so big already. Somehow I know there is this joy and pride in her..but i never knew how to smile back at my family... not that i didnt know how to care for them... i remember how i used to pester my Ma to hold my hand every night or I couldnt sleep.. i know i love my Ma very much..but during my birthday I didnt say much about her. I talked more about Pa whom I thought was mroe neglected... i had been nasty to Ma... i dunno why... i know it's wrong.. but time and again i err... nowadays i try to talk less for fear of saying the wrong things... Ma asked today, what soup i want to drink tomorrow, she would cook for me.. i told her just cook anything, i will drink one... after dinner every weekend, she would always ask me to put down the plates and go do my thing.. but i always ignore her and wash the stuff... cos if she cooks for me, i cant let her wash up after me... sometimes i see her mop the floor... i feel v sad... i dont wan her to do it.. but i knwo weekdays when i'm not around, my bro wont do one.. that's why i always fuck him... i cant always be everywhere looking out for everything... Weimin called me family man... maybe cos of these things i go home every fri.. just to have dinner... i dont know how to, but i want to go out my Ma... i just dont know how to.....
i saw ur blog... i dont know exactly know what you are going through now.. but i know it's definitely nothing pleasant... however, whenever i ask how are you doing, you reply you are fine. you know that you are not.. i dont know what i can do for you also... the world is not all full of hypocrites... i am not one.. you should know... i hope you can open up..let me help you again in what ever way i can...
i was here @
4:15 AM.
Saturday, November 11, 2006
[[Spiderman 3 Trailer]]
for some reason, i can cross post from blogger to Multiply, but not the other way around.. so... here's the shit....
Spiderman 3 Trailer
http://benedictloh.multiply.com/journal/item/97?last_read=1&mark_read=benedictloh:journal:97Marvel Universal Alliance intro... this is amazing shit...
http://benedictloh.multiply.com/journal/item/98?last_read=1&mark_read=benedictloh:journal:98
i was here @
4:33 PM.
Saturday, November 04, 2006
[[Dorifto Clinic]]
http://benedictloh.multiply.com/journal/item/91
i was here @
10:58 PM.
[[FUBAR... big time]]
saw this term FUBAR in Saving PTE Ryan.. i think it stands for Fucked up Big Time all around...
That's me... i'm bloody FUBAR now.. i lost my drive for a good 7 days... whole of e-learning week went down the drain.. something was bugging me... i knew what... i needed time to push it away.. still, it gave me a couple of sleepless nights.. i had trouble falling asleep... i had random thoughts running rampant in my mind and had dreams i wished i never had... i know it's only a matter of time before i flush it out off my system.. but it took longer than i thought. Perhaps the harder you push a spring, the harder it pushes back.. still, i know i will see the light at the end of the tunnel... after all, i fought depression singlehandedly during O'levels.. this is nothing compared to it.. PS: thanx KX for offering to listen to me :)
but i cant deny the fact that i'm coming short where revision is concerned... its not that i want to point fingers, but where the bloody fuck is my study week?? The U has too much on its mind to think that there ought to be a buffer period before the exams.. what kind of bloody sense it that... of course it's not all NTU's fault that it's stupid.. i share part of the blame for being lazy...
I have watched the entire season 1of Prison Break.. god damn.. this whole week... watching how a group of men find their way out of hell as i dig my way closer to it... still, yes, the storyline is excellent.. but what caught my eye, is the sense of brotherhood between the two, err.. brothers..
of all that are living under this roof.. i paid the least attention to my brother.. possibly cos i didn't know what to do with him.... but, frankly, i reali dunno wat to do... he's not all that bad.. but there are things that he does that i cant condone.. i dunno man... i still remember when we are young.. he looks up to me alot...he reali was a good brother unlike me..i dont think i can know the way to everything... sometimes there are things that you dont hv the answere to... for so many years, i have been trying, but to no avail... i had wished that we could be like the Takahashi brothers.. i dunno man...
For everyone else in the house, ithink i have done what is needed to be done for them... spoke up for ah gong, ah ma, Pa, Ma, elwyn.. actually i wanted to do more for him.. but i dunno why... maybe i wana gif my brother more attention... i dunno...
sometimes, people ask me.. why do you do all these things that you are doing... doing for others.. then in the end, you yourlsef are so miserable cos you are there alone.. they tell me that i should stop thinking for others and start acting for myself.... But then when you stop.. what happens... will you stop when you know that you will make a difference no matter how small it is..i cant bring myself to... and for things that people see no reason in doing... sometimes, certain things cant be explained...
and what i really hate is people who like to fucking draw wrong conclusions about me... i may portray myself to be a clown.. but that is to cover up unhappy things that i bear... fucking irritating... maybe too much is kept in that i have lost touch with myself...
let's jiayou together... i would rather, you walk with me together
i was here @
11:42 AM.