Tuesday, September 05, 2006
[[AHHHH!!]]
Shit.... i have wasted 4 weekends to date... rushing my tutorials now.... preparing an essay for eff com later.. woke up early to do my stuff.... I like studying.... but i get stopped in my tracks when I encounter Qns I don't know how to do...
But one thing I like even more is the army... I miss the army... Hey guys.. i'm not fooling you man.. I miss the army... Heard this in a show: "you know that you are doing something that you like when you don't feel tired doing it and you are happy doing it.." THat was how I felt when I was an Int Spec.. Even when I ORDed, i felt this emptiness in me... It can't be explained... on top of that, I like the way things are done in the army. "Don't ask so much questions, just do.." Things are done so much faster, and people are more decisive... I just can't stand things I see now... sometimes one fucking simple decision cant even be agreed upon... Even in my Intelligence Branch, we don't need to consider so many bloody things when anticipating the enemy.... Fuck sia, why must think this, think that, what if, how ah?? Balls la.... just decide on some fucking thing, and commit to the fucking decision, case closed...
I missed Army even more when Alex told me about his BMT stories... the Poly batch is so bonded, unlike my JC batch... everyone only does his own things.... Alex's mates stood up against their commander together.. it wasn't insubordination.. the commander was a black sheep to the Specialist core... he failed as a leader, he deserved fuck... When Alex was put down by the dumb fuck Sgt, his mates stood by him, steadfast behind him, unwavering.... It's very inspiring.... I envy him... I'm jealous that he can experience this brotherhood that I can't..haha... but I have had a taste of this during ASLC and UOC... the guys stood by me for the Zeno saga... still, sometimes I don't have self-confidence and doubt my support...
JinMing became GL.... Dont know leh.. I feel that, I troubled him due to my own decision... He saw ADA and I in canteen that day, and asked us to be SA... He has nothing to worry man... I have already said that I will be there as backup, and I will be there.. I will honour my words..
Busy weekend sia.... went Comex on Fri and Sat, then Sun woke up late... Fri went arcade with xiaowei after school also... BUCK UP SGT!!!
Certain things, I can't come to an agreement with myself.. I don't admit anything, because I don't wanna hurt anyone again... I want to be sure of myself this time..WHO WANT TO GO SENTOSA THIS FRI???
i was here @
8:45 AM.