Wednesday, July 05, 2006
[[Sgt blogs again]]
So long nv blo le.. too many random thoughts in my head...
Was out for supper with a friend just now.. talking about army and work and stuff.. Actually I disagreed with most of what my friend said.. haha.. but I'm not angry or what.. He's one of those people who keep saying army no pride and stuff.. The pride that you have in yourself exists only in you.. If you were to think that there's no pride, then there isn't really any in you.. At least he has the balls to go through the army stint.. Then we were talking about working life next time.. I said alot of people starting their own business now, even as they are schooling, as reported in the papers.. He say where to get money to start.. I say can borrow from family first then pay them back slowly.. He say:"you sure you will suceed anot?" .. Like what sia.. You have to pick up your balls to take that first step, everything that you doubt, is one thing more that you fail evem before you begin. Where starting a business is concerned, I'm not talking about a mindless investment, I'm refering to a studied move,where risks have been calculatored, the market researched, on top of other things which have been prep for.. It's not a blind leap into a dark cave. It's a step forward. We have to have this kind of attitude to try things, to learn things. Humans evolve, otherwise we will always be the frogs in the deep wells, slogging our asses off desk jobs. He disagreed that passion and pride won't take you anywhere. I beg to differ. An interest driven person can do wonders.
Wanted to fight with Ma and Elwyn again yesterday.. I guess i'm too stressed. What sparked me off was the dustbin which was uncleared one night and the main door left totally unlocked.. I keep thinking that the house will mess up once I go Uni.. I don't know what will become of it.. Elwyn always give me fuck face when I tell him the importance of helping out in the family. Most of the time, I feel like punching him in the face.. It doesn't solve anything, but it does help me feel better. Nowadays I leave the roaches that I kill lying on the ground, to show them how many there are.. I have the urge to on all the lights and wake everyone up when I see things not done.. The army way won't solve the problem but it will irritate them enough to take note of it.. Mama say I like always finding fault with her. But I just hate it when she avoids problems. She says she already overwork, dont ask her to do any more things, when I told her and Elwyn to walk around the house at night to check thehouse.. Elwyn? Fuck, i don't bother saying anything.. It really makes my blood boil to see things to be done, left undone.. I would appreciate it that it would be like in the anime, Initial D.. After Ryosuke took his brother Keisuke out for a drift down a mountain pass.. his brother mended his childish ways.. if only things were that easy.. I don't want to leave my ah gong behind.. No one will fight for him except me.. Basically I fight for everyone, but no one fights for the Sgt...
Most Beautiful Girl is a sweet friend. Although she doesn't really tag here, I know she reads Freedometeor, because at times she would ask me what happened, about all the unhappy things she sees here. Thank you. At least you bothered to show concern, somthing which others won't. That's why Sgt will miss you when you head off to Sweden. I can't protect you if you need any help there.Sorry I didn't pick you up at the airport that day, I definitely would at the next given chance k? Like me, she was hurt by her loved one.. I don't know much about what happened. But I know enough to know that she doesn't deserve anything like it. That day, what I told you about what happened to me last time and what I did, I think you got the wrong idea.. The last thing I want is to be misunderstood..
I just don't like to see things being left alone, undone, expecting someone to do it for you.. Was at a fren's Bday last week.. The crowd was leaving. I noticed the tables weren't cleared, and my fren's mother was busy, walking about to clear everything. I said out loud,"Then leave all the things for who to clear?" But everyone was in their cars already. Fortunatelt one did hear me, and help me in clearing the tables.. I'm really getting sick of seeing these kind of things.. Somehow, I wish for a war to ensue. To wake everyone up..
I want Power. Not out of greed. But so that I can use this power to right all the wrongs that I see.. I can't do anything from where I stand now... Kira needed his sword to protect the ones he loved, so do I... Many a times, I could only watch on helplessly as things go wrong.. We all make mistakes.. I made 2 major mistakes.. The mistake of choice.. I shouldn't have stop Leong from going for her oversea attachment... I should have stood firm with what I knew I wanted to protect. I should have chosen the other..
Shinn was brave enough to stand by Stellar to the end.. He's a hero..
This is my Gundam. It may not be anything much, but it took me to where I wanna go... As his Gundam took Shinn to Stellar, this car is my sword, which I wield to protect the one I care for.. but my actions now are forbidden.. when can this curse be removed?
i was here @
2:53 AM.