Monday, June 26, 2006
[[Sgt bleeds]]
work's boring these days.. have to stand-in at this new outlet at Taka.. no buying crowd there.. super sian... sold $1000 over yesterday till around 3pm then I had to switch to Taka, otherwise I would be able to sell more.. Going down tomorrow again.. Monday leh.. confirm sian one sia.. Monday where got ppl
Was damn bored on Fri.. cant seem to find any company... Initially the class wanted to go out for supper then last min all don't want.. chey.. when I had finally gotten the car. So went down to Kovan find Eric they all.. was playing game with them halfway when Most Beautiful Girl called.. she asked what I was doing.. cos earlier I asked her for supper but she was out.. so now, she's done then she asked if I still wanted to makan.. The entire week was damn bloody sian la.. always can't seem to find company.. All the guys like always busy and stuff.. MostBeautiful Girl's call was like Godsent la.. Drove to Hougang Mall to pick her.. Also Don't know how she landed up there.. It was so late already.. where got safe for most beautiful girl.. wait some Bangla catch her and make rotijohn out of her how? Most beautiful Roti John ah?
Last night, talked, or told mama off again... I saw the rubbish not cleared and stuff.. went o ask Elwyn to do it.. he like that fuck attitude again. If he is still not going to do it now.. then when I go Uni, he wont too.. then Ma came out asked why.. I was saying then as usual she walk away again.. That really flared me up.. So then I started fucking Elwyn, fucking her.. then Elwyn hide back in his room, and I cont to tell Ma off.. I say everytime got things, got prob tell her, she wanna walk away, I am fucking du lan about it. Always see something wrong don't act, fucking the thing will stay there right? Elwyn dont help out in the house make him do it la.. Fucking blockheads.. the 2 parents are like stupid officers who dunno how to pull rank and get things done.. Dumb fucks.. Then I also told her off about ah gong. I say the way they like say things about him, they got no fucking respect for elders ah. I say this type of things need me to tell they all one ah? ..... and other things...
I feel alone.. I can't always be here for everyone... Can't this bloody household look after itself.. Always looking out for others, but whenever I'm in need.. i'm always alone... Sheila sort of scolded me. She said I care too much for others, then blame them when I'm not happy.. I'm not blaming them for me not being happy.. I feel alone. She says sometimes one must care for themselves first.. but because the rest of the world thinks like this, that's why there's so many problems around.. Why can't it be the case instead when everyone looks out for everyone else instead. Then no one is left out.. I don't like to leave things that are wrong undone.. It's wrong.. I had to suffer so much because of wrong things being lleft untouched..that's why I cant bring myself to behave this way.. There's too many wrongs that needed to be righted..
The most heart wrenching lone I heard in the show "Jarhead" was this Marine saying "I want to see what it's like for ur own gf to be fucked by other people." I don't know if Raymond fucked her when I was in Taiwan in SISPEC.. She admitted that she let him hug and kiss her.. and she went out with him.. I still don't know what happened.. she stopped me the last time we went out as a couple, seemingly to prevent me from finding out smthg.. It's a clingy feeling.. This kind of thing has to happen to me... I didn't even fucked her before.. IT's crude to say this.. But if you were to be standing in my shoes.. It isn't that crude... We were together for 2.5 yrs and it had to end like this... That's war had to befall Singapore.. then all man will hv to go to war so that no man is left behind to fuck any GFs left behind.. even then there would be cowards who dont fight and stay behind to fuck other people's girlfriends.. Him being 5 yrs older is so appealing? is it the money? I don't know.. I see so many young, pretty ladies in the company of older-looking guys at iShop all the time.. so it has come to this these days..
I also don't know why you ignore me now.. When we used to be such close frens.. I never forced you to like me or what.. I'm contended with the way things were.. Just caring for you.. But you too chose to walk away...
Just one time.. One good chance... Any thing that needs to be done.. I'll be gone with a bang.. I'll be contended..
i was here @
1:39 AM.