Friday, April 28, 2006
[[BUSY BUSY]]
It's a whole rojak of shit this weeks man!
The worst of it is my Bday stint this Sat.. It's the day after tmr, yet I still feel so ill-prepared. Just can't shake this lingering feeling off... I feel that the deco is not enough.. the programme not engaging enough... People dropping out even now... People telling me they don't have uniform... There's a mountain of shit in my head... I'm worried that that day, the crowd would be like dead fish... Damn, the response is already lukewarm now... It's unnerving...
I haven't done my final prep.. I want to go back camp tmr to kop stuff, and use the printer to print stuff.. but I don't know what I want to print.. I'm thinking of doing a report book-like door gift for everyone...
Hell....
My lucky bracelet's powers don't seem to be working its magic on this...
But, I have to give it credit for the other woncders it worked for me... Just received my letter of notification from NTU today.. It tells me that I am sucessful in changing my course to EEE. It's so fast. I jsut had my interview on Monday.. Think I must have wowed the Dean. HAHAHA... he seemed qutie happy speaking to me tt morning. I was a hell one and a half hours early.. Record timing! Prof Gwee said there would eb 3 interviewers. Guess I was so early, that they weren't even there yet.. I spoke rather fluently to the Dean. I was able to carry across my message and express my interest clearly in him. Guess that was what pulled me through. Thank you Cubby for guiding me so patiently to the place!
Hmmm.. Honestly, I don't really know what lies ahead for me in EEE. Although I have been saying, and I feel that I like electronic gadgets, I don't really have a clear idea of how I am going to walk down this path. It was kind of like
deja vu for me. It was like back then how I fought arm and limb to stay in the Intelligence Branch. I wasn't really sure why I wanted to be in the Branch. However, I knew that it's not my destiny to be a clerk in the rifle companies. So, I went to upgrade myself back to combat status. I fought to stay in the Branch. I suceeded! Over this 1 year in my Intelligence Branch, I affrimed that my decision then was the right one. Even though, I have been actively involved in the Swim Team, and the guys always think that I'm slacking, I feel that I am really working here. My branch is one of the few places that I really feel an attachment to, a sense of belonging to. I loved what I did as an Intelligence Specialist. I took pride in what I did. Although I would try to cut corners, I never thought of abandoning my Branch.. Whenever they needed anything, I would try my best for them. I am so attached to the Branch that when my Ma calls to ask what I am doing in camp, I say I am doing work.. I always tell my junior Specialists that if there's anything they do not know, they can call me. It's not to wayang. What's there to wayang? I'm going to ORD... I just want to help them out as a big brother... That's why I was quite sad when they like ignored me after I returned to camp after my Swimming Training was over... It has always been like this.. Always Disregarded..
I saw the trailer for Fast and Furious 3. The guy said..
"All my life, people tell me I don't fit in. Maybe I'm just in the wrong place"I found my place in the Branch. Or so I thought.. Even then.. I felt distant, yet I also felt close to the Branch..
Damn.. all that blabble... Ya my lucky bracelet did bring me some gd fortune in more ways than one. Other than the Bday shit... things seems ok these days.. Family seems ok now... I stayed home to eat today.. Feel that I have been going out too much... Last night my Gu Gu and ah ma cook something different. But I wasn't in to eat.. Sometimes when i eat out, I get the feeling that my ah ma wants me to eat at home. It's not that she is angry or what.. I feel that it's a joy for her to cook for her Grandson.. Then yesterday went out, never see mama aso. I have been very nasty to her recently also. Don't know why. Bloody fucker.. This Sat, I just want say how I feel about my family. It won't be long. Just something simple.. Don;t know if I will cry when I say that.. Now already tearing when I think of my family...
I was surprised you told me that you are mailing me my Bday present together with Strawberry's. I thought you 2 are sharing the same present.. Didn't expect that S.Berry would get me a present after the tongue lashing in the blog.. Didn't expect you to have your own present either... I'm happy. Hope nobody says I think too much again... I mean it's natural ma... Suddenly, I feel like getting my Gundam to take me to you again. But think that nite I will be made drunk....
If I can have just one wish.
i was here @
1:13 AM.