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Wednesday, March 15, 2006
[[SAFSA Swimming Heats Day 3]]


50m Freestyle (KO)
My time : 29s
Best time :24s
Conclusion: No fight

4 x 50m Medley (Finals)
Our time: Finals
Best time: Finals
Conclusion: Maybe

Timing for freestyle deproved. SHould have been 28++sec. Don't have the feel today... Maybe it was fatigue...
Maybe I'm just aimless....lost



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After the heats ended. Got a call from Int Sgt. Asked me to report to camp.. Said I made a mess out the maps. Alot of calls pertaining to the same topic ensued...

Don't know what is happening or what will happen later....

It's sad.

I feel very sad. No one ever appreciates me... Whenever something goes wrong, fingers point to me.. No credit is given for effort put in. I don't expect myself to get everything right... But some of the things I do, I really have the heart. Even though I don't get it right, I had the heart to make things work out...

Yet at the end of the day. I am dispensible.... I had wanted to invite my Int Branch to my Games Day, should the day really materialise. I want to thank them for my unforgettable time in the Lion's Den. I want to tell S2 Sir that he really left a deep impression in me.. He inspires... but I think now no need liao...

Back then, I had no experience as Int Sgt ma... It may sound like an excuse... but that is the fact.. If given the chance to be Int Sgt now again, I would have performed better... Back then there wasn't anyone in the Branch.. S2 and Int Sgt all on course.. I'm the only one left behind... I had to manage everything... When Exercise came, my Branch mate report sick and left meto die there... In the end, after everything, Best Commander award for the month went to him...

Nvm also, one person less to thank at my party... Actually 2 in all ba..

I had wanted to say thanks for everything this 2 years... Always there to listen to me and stuff.. Never failing to offer a listening ear... Think this one also no need to say le... Very gek xim hor... How everything seemed the world to one moment, and leave you the next... It is said that I brought my own downfall, I caused the turn of events today... If caring and feeling is all wrong, then what good is there left in this world.. I think you are wrong.. You haven't experienced it yet... You don't know... You don't know me... You make me feel like an idiot... You are an idiot... I never meant for this to be like this... You should be old enough to see this... If you can't see it, then keep quiet... You just don't believe I didn't ask for anything in return... You misintepretted... Tsk... Just shut up

Now I know why Kira cries... He feels so alone... He is always there for his loved ones... When things are ok, there is no pat on the back for him... But when fate decides otherwise, Kira is scolded, outcasted. He never really had anyone to turn to... Still, he came back for his friends.. He is my idol.....

I never had anyone to turn to... I always try to make things right... I never had any ill intentions... I don't ask for anything in return, but don't turn away from me... How come I am like a lone fighter... Always have to disappear into the shadows, because no one wants him...

i was here @
12:09 PM.

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