Sunday, February 12, 2006
[[I want War]]
Sianzz.. yet another day has passed... Why hasn't a war began? Feel like talking....
It's not that I can't forget or what.. It may sound crude, but each time you make me feel that I fail time and time again... I look back more... And pity myself...
My brother was watching Pearl Harbour this morning when I woke up.. I sat through the rest of the show.. Nowadays I feel a strong surge of emotions whenever I see such shows... Previously, It was "We were soldiers."
When I saw how the Americans fought back, and didn't back out in the face of adversity.. I felt insignificant... How will I fare in times like this. I can say a thousand and one things about standing steadfast, but only time will prove me right or wrong.
A friend of mine watched SEED and commented that she understood why I used to always say that I'm like Kira... I'm grateful for that, thank you. It's not often, I'm understood,no matter how little.
Actually, I'm not that that difficult to comprehend... I don't know why I never hit it off with you. Maybe it's our stubborn personalities.
What lies ahead? I'm waiting for disaster to strike... Since our locals are so complacent... They need to be shaken.. Fuck all the ah bengs, stupid civilians and whomever who takes our troubled peace for granted... The army experience showed me much. However, It's more than enough.
I was taken away from my family and more... I respect Kira. I want to be like him. To be needed... He is selfless... He is beyond me... There are 2 sides of me. A black and a white. A Kira and a Shinn lives within me... As in SEED, Kira and Shinn are opposites. Shinn is an dark Kira...
I want to protect like Kira. Shinn wanted to protect to, but he chose violence as his sword.. Sometimes I choose the soft approach, yet at times, I itch for a fight.
The one thing I didn't say, was because I wanted to preserve our friendship. In the end, what I wanted to protect was still lost.. I don't ask for much... Just for things to be as they were... and to kno, at the very least, how it became like this...
There is still much to be discovered....
I'm still waiting for a calamity..
i was here @
11:58 PM.