Monday, December 26, 2005
[[End of this chapter]]
So many thoughts running through my head....
20 - 23 Dec Ex BuckspeedWe have turned operational. This could very well be my last major exercise of my NS life. It was a crazy one month leading up to Buckspeed. 3 exercises in a timeframe of a little more than 3 weeks..
Ex Lion's Will, Ex Singawira, and finally Ex Buckspeed.. I failed as the acting Int Sgt for Lion's Will... I soared for Singawira... That was the one that gave me my drive... And finally, for Buckspeed, I did what I was trained to do, Intelligence Specialist of 2SIR.. I survived it...
Even though I didn't do rifle fighting, I walked and bashed and trekked together with the Battalion.. I was there with them for every mission.. I fufilled what I set out to do one year ago... I'm still not all that proficient.. but nevertheless, I know I gave it my all... I can answer to myself..
Looks like this chapter of my life is closed... What lies ahead... I still have many dreams.. Many of which left unfulfilled.... Indeed, what Kira said was true.. Power and emotions alone are not enough... Sometimes, it just takes a little more...
241205Misjudged.. Fucking hell.. Always like this... I know I had the intention of making things work out... But how to bloody split mself into 2? Whatever I do, she take it that I do it out of guilt and pity.. (PS:No names here!!!! as you wished right?) You failed to realise that Though I don't do much, I do act out of my heart... I wanted to get a xmas gift for you, but there are so many bloody exercises back to back all the way up to the week of xmas... I know you would say that If I had the heart, I would make the effort to get it.. For goodness's sake la... I didn't even thought of getting anything for my family... Not tryign to sound noble to you, but this is the fact.. I know someone is going to react very negative when she's sees this, but then please remember Benedict is also in this equation... I had been thinking of you during Buckspeed, about the KTV outing.. But Saturday shook me.. Like that also can be unhappy..
251205Boring Xmas... But got my new phone Sony Ericcson 750i..
Someone i know is making a move on a girl whose guy is now in the army. Apprantly the girl is responding positively to him... Ok, maybe, the bf is fucked up as it is said.. But still I wasn't to happy to know about this.. As a soldier myself, I'm quite pissed.. We do so much for the nation yet, this is what we get... Girls these days are getting fucked up... Fucking pieces of loose whores.. As long as you give them attention, they throw themselves to you.. Ok la... maybe not all, but this is the trend.
The relations in my family are getting better.. I accomplised what I wanted to achieve in the army.. What's next? I don't know... I want more fulfillment out of my life.. I want to live for a reason.. Last time, someone made me feel this way...(PS: PLEASE! I'm not missing the person. I'm missing the fulfillment and feeling of purpose.)
I just want to shout it out...
I was there, You were there.. I'm still here, but you forgot...
i was here @
12:23 PM.