Saturday, April 23, 2005
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"Are you trying to say that you're the only person who's right and you wont accept anyone you dont like or agree with?"This is what Athrun told Shinn once. Well, I
felt that what he said could apply to me too. I'm somewhat like Kira, and a bit like Shinn. Maybe that's why I take to Gundam. I can relate myself to the characters and the events in the anime. It just feels so real. Its like I see myself in real life everytime. Even when I took a Gundam Character test, the answer is Kira.
Kira -> Frail, fights for others, alone, misunderstood, cries easily
Shinn -> Impulsive, hurt, bad
memories, want to set things right
I have my own way of thinking. Somtimes it clashes with others. Most of the time they are the same as Jinjin n Alex. However, on occasions that others think differently from me, I am angry/unhappy. I believe, unwittingly, I would have thought that they are wrong too. Isn't it the same as Shinn?
Hmmm..sometimes I just feel as thought I'm them(Gundam characters). Uncanningly close!
"If I had the power back then,
If only i can get hold of such a power...
Anyone who has cried over his lack of power will think that.....probably
But from the time you get hold of that power,
You become the one that make others cry.
If you forget what I said,
And wield your powers blindly for the sake of your own reasons and justice,
All that would make you is a destroyer."When Athrun said this to Shinn, it struck me deep as well. Back then in ASLC, I lacked the power. I couldnt do anything even when I wanted so much to. I knew things werent the way it was supposed to be. Yet, I couldnt do anything about it. Eventually, I lost her. If I had this missing link, "power", back then. But I was in the army, in hell. I toiled day and night, suffered and sacrificed so much just to lose evrything I had worked for. It didnt feel good. I
felt miserable. Also, Athrun meant about the abuse of power that one possessed. I wouldnt want to abuse my authority too, not that I have any though.
Now, with
her. I know things are worng. I want to do something about it, but how come I still lack this power? Nothing I do seems right. Why? Sometimes I feel I'm totally clueless. I thought I knew what to do, but I realised I dont really know. Sometimes, it's just that I'm really so busy in camp.
Mon, Tues conduct security checks on the Battalion. Wed, IntWarrent came down to check on us. Thurs, I'm COS and have to take charge of the Drug exhibition. Friday worse. NDP meeting. Dont even have time to change
clothes for my Advanced, wore No. 4 there. I couldnt even afford the time to have nights off. But, I'm mistaken to be a bo-chap fellow.
Why everytimeI wanna do something to set things right, I just cant. Why people would say "Why you like that?" "Never think of me?" "Never think of her"
Who thought of me?
I know you would read this. I know it would make you
fan..
But I cant bottle this up
i was here @
10:11 AM.