Sunday, January 16, 2005
[[i think...i wonder...]]
if I say, "I cant do anything," and do nothing
then i really wont be able to do anything.
Nothing will change..
Nothing will end.
~kira
That's the problem with me..always thinking too much..always doubting myself. Smtimes I think so much that i dont do it in the end. I doubt myself because of the constant mishaps. Everytime i try smthg new, it goes wrong. Always thking negatively. But sometimes i really try hard. I want so much for it to happen. I put in effort but i lack that missing link.
Emotions alone, Power alone...They are not enough.
That is why..
Is this(Freedom Gundam) not necessary for you to fulfill your dreams and go whereer you wish to go?
~Lacus
Where is the Freedom Gundam that I need? Where is this missing link. I need this catalyst. My objective is just there, but how do I get there?
Power is necessary because conflicts continue to exist..
Without power, one will be belittled. However, one must not abuse one's power. Together with power comes responsibility. Yesterday Alex and I were chased out of NYP during the soccer match because we dont have the admin card. Actually, we were not even students there to begin with. In any case, the security guards are too niao. If only I had the power...It's undeniable. Power puts you at the top. Some days back, some MPs came to my camp claiming that someone drove a stolen vehicle in. The power of the MPs comes in the form of the Military Law. This power allowed them to confine all the Guard Duty personnals in the Guard room! My guys who are on Guard Duty are supposed to have the most authority while on duty but look at what has happened! Its ridiculous! Though its a sad fact, over time, I have chosen to believe that, Power is vital.
On Friday, Eugene sold his duty to me. The other regulars wanted to sabo him and forcee him to jack up his price cos he always pesters abt bk outs and nights off because of his gf. I didnt know abt their dislike for him so i accepted it for $100. Later they kaopei, saying i shdnt do it for him and that i shd have asked for morer. But being my first time doing this, I didnt know. Besides I dont share their views on him.
ren bu fan wo, wo bu fan ren. This phrase holds true for me. But as evryone is kaopei-ing, I begin to wonder if I shd hv taken the duty from him. Then again, I tot...Why was I swayed by their comments? I thk this is a good example of a situation whereby I have to stand firm and hold true to my own beliefs. As of now, I need more faith in myself. Going against the norm may not always be wrong. Even if it is, I will only know now at the end. So, I need to be there at the final moment to get my answer. I need my own
Feedom Gundam to take my there
i was here @
11:07 AM.